dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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