i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
