Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
