Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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