No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
