She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
