He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
