a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
