i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
