it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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