I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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