You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
