woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My vagina is officially offended.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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