i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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