Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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