My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also, beer. Big fan.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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