Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let's get the cat blown out
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
