ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I miss vodka workout Fridays
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
