when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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