Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
