that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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