Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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