I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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