I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
