its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
