i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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