5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
