biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
