remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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