Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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