ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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