wat bout pragnant strippers??
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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