wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
