so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
they're like a gay fantastic four
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
