we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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