Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
