So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
