The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
