I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
