whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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