i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i will never coherently bang her
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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