I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
