Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize