Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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