he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
