I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She's the barista slut.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
