3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
birth control should be required to get into college
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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