We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
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Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
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If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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