That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
