I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
