when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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