Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
