my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
