that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
