Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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