You're a womanizer and a bitch.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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