you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
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I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
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No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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