I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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